Velé Muse: Candice Mok
What does the message “you are worthy and wanted” mean to you?
"You are worthy and wanted"... what an amazing message. I think everyone at some point in their life contemplates this question of self-worth and longs for validation - whether that be through fame, personal achievements, wealth, status, etc. And I think that there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved or worthy, it's part of our humanness. For me this message points me to my faith in Jesus and reminds me that because I already know that I am worthy and loved in the eyes of God, I don't need to go looking for my worth in anything else. I really love this quote by Timothy Keller. He definitely says it more eloquently than I ever could!
"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
When do you feel most empowered?
I love helping others whether that be in times of need, being a support, or helping and seeing them succeed. I feel most empowered when I have the opportunity and capability to help others feel empowered.
A lovely addition to our Muse community from Toronto.
Candice is the face behind the personal lifestyle blog candicetay.com, that explores ethical, sustainable, and minimal living in Toronto, Canada. The main purpose of her blog is to portray a realistic journey of her pursuit towards a more sustainable lifestyle, through ethical fashion and intentional living.
Can you share about a fear that had you beginning to doubt your worth? How did you work through it?
I think I am currently working through this season, as I am transitioning out of a career for which I had studied in university and am pursuing a different path. Through the past few years as I wrestled with the question, “what should I do with my life?”, there were many moments that had me doubting my worth and the fear of “not being where I’m supposed to be at my age” often took over. It’s definitely something that I still struggle with from time to time as I am still in a transition phase in my life, but I am constantly reminded by good friends and family that my worth is not in what I do, what kind of job I have, how successful I am, etc. It always boils down to the message that “you are worthy and wanted”. Your job does not define who you are.
Are there any ways that you think being a woman has affected your relationship with self worth?
I think as a woman, we are often bombarded by messages in society that tell us how we should look, how to act, what success looks like, what “beauty” means, etc. This has often led me to compare myself with others, which in turn has affected my self-worth. I think this is a very common experience for many people and can be damaging for one’s self-worth if we are constantly looking to a societal standard of self-worth, since society’s standards evolve so quickly.
Any encouragement for women in the midst of unleashing themselves from fear to embrace their worth?
A piece of encouragement I can offer to women struggling with the fear of embracing their self-worth is to simply think about yourself less. I know it might seem countercultural or counterproductive, but when you accept that you are worthy despite all your shortcomings and flaws, it frees you to live each day free from the fears of not measuring up, and even from possible failure.